figured out why it’s so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking… because those men already have boyfriends!
if my house is clean, it means that Facebook is broken
One day my prince charming WILL come. He just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
will not be responsible for her actions if she doesn’t get some chocolate soon.
There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note, “Don’t eat me.” Now there’s an empty plate and a note, Don’t tell me what to do.
Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts… Others come into our lives and make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
keeps hearing that the right person will come along… I think mine got hit by a truck.
When a guy says to a girl “No strings attached”, what he is really saying is “I’m emotionally retarded, but your vagina sounds neat!”
Facebook: A place where all of your past mistakes will eventually try to befriend you.
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
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