Super Cool Creative Statuses With Symbols For Facebook

(̅_̅_̅_̅(̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅̅_̅()ڪے~ ~ Smoking Kills but thrills

–^v–^v–^v–^v-_____^v–^v–^v– For a second there, I was bored to death

► PlayTheMoments ▌▌ PauseTheMemories ■ StopThePain ◄◄ RewindTheHappiness.

Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?

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Funny One Liner Witty & Clever Ideas For Facebook Statuses

Looking for some good ideas for your facebook status update that will get your friends attention? Try posting one of these one-liner funny and clever statuses! They’ll be sure to get likes on your status and your friends will all comment on it! These witty and amusing statuses are interesting to read and you can just copy and paste it straight to your facebook. Have you got any other funny status ideas? Post a comment and let us know!

I wanted to be a milkman, but I didn’t have the bottle!

I went to the butchers the other day and the butcher said, ‘I bet you £5 you can’t guess the weight of that meat on the top shelf’. ‘I’m not gambling!’ I said, ‘The steaks are too high!

A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,’Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs! The doctor replied, ‘I know you can’t, I’ve cut your arms off’.

Advent Calenders, Their days are numbered.

I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It’s tiny, you couldn’t swing a cat in there.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

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Filed under: Facebook Status Updates | 3 Comments »

Funny & Cute Chat Up Lines For Facebook Status Update Ideas

Is there a guy you like on facebook? Is there a girl you fancy? Got a crush? Let them know with one of these great, funny and cute flirting facebook status ideas! These are some really cute and some very funny chat up lines which make great status updates on your facebook or you could copy and paste them onto your crushes wall! Some are really witty and clever and some are just silly and funny! Use one of these flirting status update ideas now on your facebook and impress your friends! You’ll get loads of likes on your status and comments too!

  • Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
  • I have a pen, you have a phone number… think of the possibilities
  • There must be something wrong with my eyes; I can’t take them off you
  • I lost my phone number can I have yours?
  • I’m feeling a little off today. Would you mind turning me on?
  • If I could re-arrange the alphabet I would put U and I together
  • Is that a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants?
  • Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
  • Are your legs tired? because you have been running through my mind all day
  • Are you doing anything tonight, because I sure hope it is me!
  • Do you eat lucky charms? Because you look magically delicious
  • Are you a parking ticket, because you have got fine written all over you!
  • If I had a cloud for every time I have wanted you, I would be in heaven.
  • If you were a burger at McDonalds Id call you McBeautiful
  • Oh, are your lips sore? Here, let me kiss them better
  • I’ve been trying to talk to you for ages. No, I still can’t do it.
  • Are we related? Do you want to be?
  • I won’t unlock these handcuffs until you agree to go out with me.
  • What is a fine-looking woman like you doing with a guy like that?
  • Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
  • You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime.
  • I’m feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?
  • Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?
  • Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
  • Youre hot, Im cool. Lets get together and even things out.
  • Hey baby, you must be a light switch, becuase every time I see you, you turn me on!
  • Were you arrested earlier? It’s gotta be illegal to look that good.
  • You look really hot! You must be the reason for global warming.
  • You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
  • Hey, You were great on Bay Watch last night!
  • You’re so hot you would make the devil sweat.
  • If being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!
  • Your daddy must have been a baker, because you’ve got a nice set of buns.
  • Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
  • You’re so hot that when I look at you I get a tan.
  • Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
  • Is there a rainbow, because you’re the treasure I’ve been searching for…
  • What time do you have to be back in heaven?
  • There’s a woman like you in my dreams every night.
  • Your lips look so lonely…. Would they like to meet mine?
  • When God made you, he was showing off.

Filed under: Facebook Status Updates, Facebook Stuff | 3 Comments »



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