Funny New Years Eve Messages For Facebook Status Ideas

Make your friends laugh and get their attention on new years eve by posting one of these funny and witty new years eve statuses! You’ll be sure to get likes and comments on your status update when you use one of these clever joke status ideas about the new year!

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you’ve met your New Year’s resolution.

New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.

my new years resolution is to start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.

is planning on finding new and interesting things to hate about my job in 2011.

my 2011 New Year’s Resolution is to adhere to my resolutions for longer than 24 hours.

my 2011 new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.

new years eve – one of the only days when it is socially acceptable to start drinking this early.

is actually feeling pretty okay about not accomplishing anything this year

Thre have been many time in 2010, when I have annoyed you, distubed you, irritated you, bugged you… today I just wanna tell you… I plan to continue in 2011!

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Funny Your Mum Jokes For Great Facebook Status Update Ideas

If you’re looking for a funny facebook status idea that will get you likes and comments – try posting one of these funny one liner ‘your mom’ jokes. These statuses are witty and funny and will get the attention of all your facebook friends. Yeah, they are silly statuses but everyone loves a good ‘your mom’ joke! Copy and paste one of these free status update ideas onto your facebook now!

Your mums so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

Your mums so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say “Taxi!”

Your mums so fat when she sits on my face I can’t hear the stereo.

Your mums so fat her legs are like gone off milk – white & chunky!

Your mums so fat she’s got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Your mums so fat she sets off car alarms when she runs.

Your mums so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water.

Your mums so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.

Your mums so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Your mums so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Your mums so fat she’s got her own area code!

Your mums so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Your momma is so fat when God said let there be light, he had to ask her to move.

Your mom is so fat she has to use the ocean as a bath tub.

Your mom is so fat when she walked by a construction site they used her as a wrecking ball.

Yo mamma is so fat a Car Crashed Into Her And She Said, “Who Threw That Rock?!”

Yo mamma is so fat that when I shot her lard came out.

Your momma is so fat she got in a monster truck and made it a lowrider!

Your momma is so fat she tried to take a bath but the water jumped out!

Filed under: Facebook Status Updates | 2 Comments »

Funny & Clever Facebook Status Ideas That Will Definately Get Likes

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don’t know!

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! …Now read this without the word dog.

Remember when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap the f*cker!

Wants his friends to continue this story by adding a sentence to it: Last night I went for a walk…

figured out that alcohol is not the answer… it just makes you forget the question.

100,000 sperm and I was the fastest!

the only real difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is in the taste.

FACEBOOK VIRUS ALERT: An email was recently sent out asking women to post the colour of their bra. THIS IS A VIRUS. To fix this, you must remove your bra, then go to Settings > Enable Webcam > Record Movie.

I raised the alarm at work today. The midgets were furious.

I can’t believe I got sacked from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

You look like I need another drink…

on BookFace, nobody knows I’m dyslexic.

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