Very Funny Free Facebook Status Updates Ideas

Post one of these as your status update and you’ll get loads of likes and comments on it. There are hilarious ones, amusing ones, rude ones, silly stupid ones and clever statuses. There are loads of funny facebook status update ideas to choose from! Use them on your facebook for free and impress you friends! Your facebook friends will like your status and comment it!

Do not disturb.

Great….my dog just sat on my status.

my mouse just ate my status.

is going out with facebook.

is hiding behind YOUR wall.

It takes 10 people to change a lightbulb because 9 of us are on Facebook.

I haven’t got a penny to my name BUT I have these Facebook poker chips….do they count?

is wondering…. if money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

dreams of a better world…where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years

is cle’a]ni.ng he’r ke]yb29oa;rd

Drinking non-alcoholic beer is alot like going down on your cousin, it tastes the same but you know its wrong!

doesn’t believe in superstition. It brings bad luck

used to play sports. Then he realized you can buy trophies. Now he’s good at everything

has seen pictures of you naked on the internet

just tripped over her cordless phone

just spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said concentrate

can update her Facebook status with her tongue

has beef with the cows

is watching 2girls1cup and now I am puking

is teaching the cat how to be a ninja

is masturbating to your profile picture

is out of her mind, but feel free to leave a message

is with your girlfriend

is a vegetarian, not because I love animals but because I hate plants!

is for external use only. See your doctor before administering

is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult

was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said “Parking Fine”

wonders why the frisbee is getting bigger and then it hits me

thinks finding a job is like playing “Where’s Waldo?”… except Waldo is looking for a job too.

has made it his job to put the “fun” back into “funeral.”

keeps secrets from his computer.

What happens if I type here?

wondersifanyoneknowswhatthelongbuttonatthebottomofthekeyboardisfor?


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