Witty, Wacky And Inspirational Facebook Status Update Ideas

Here are some great facebook status update ideas. There are clever quotes for statuses, wierd status updates, witty and wacky status ideas, funny facebook statuses and awkward sarcastic facebook statuses. Just copy and paste one of these good fb statuses to your facebook status update box and post it! Your friends will look at it, read it, like your status and comment on your update.

The car stopped with a jerk. Then the jerk got out.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes.

I no longer wish to share this nation’s roads and highways with others. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Assumption: the first sign of impending disaster.

Starting a sentence with “If you ask me” almost always indicates that no one asked you.

Speak when you’re angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.

I fight evil wherever it may be….except in dark, scary places.

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn’t mean he knows what it is.

The only time I ever nap is after hitting the snooze button. I took 32 naps this morning.

No, I’m not weird. I’m a limited edition.

Don’t judge a book by its movie.

I am not single, I’m romantically challenged.

Always keep several get well cards on the mantel. If unexpected guests arrive, they’ll think you’ve been sick and unable to clean.

Don’t drink water – fish have sex in it.

With all the technology available now, you’d think they’d have found a way to grow apples without those little stickers.

If you’re looking for trouble, I can offer you a wide selection.


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2 Responses to “Witty, Wacky And Inspirational Facebook Status Update Ideas”

  1. lauren berry Says:

    In football there are 11 so instead of all of then fighting to get the 1 ball why not give then all a ball each so they dnt fight

  2. hamdamn Says:

    LOL

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