Your Status Updates

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335 Comments

  1. ♫║╔═╦╦╦═╗
    ║╚╣║║║║╩╣ __not war
    ╚═╩═╩═╩═♥
    condoms are cheaper than guns :)

  2. the world is going to hell, and i am driving the bus! :P

  3. You are my number 3, with out you i cant make my heart <3 xxx

  4. LMS:If Your Mexican
    Comment:If Your Proud To Be One
    Repost:If You Love Being One ;D

  5. What would Jesus do? ohh yea i forgot, your jewish

  6. Everyone keeps telling me that the right guy will come round, but I think mine got hit by a bus.

  7. Roses are red
    Facebook is blue
    No mutal friends
    WHO THE F*CK ARE YOU???
    SERIOUSLY

  8. Roses are RED ,
    FB is blue

    coffee is black
    and im john

  9. Item 1 :Life is hard for me
    Item 2 :same
    Item 3 :Time flies for me
    Item 2 :Same
    Item 4 :Life is cold for me
    Item list
    Item 1 = Brick
    Item 3 = Clock that was covered in red bull
    Item 4 = Ice cube
    Item 2 = Brick with a hole in it for liquid that was filled with red bull and had a watch as a belt who lives in a freezer
    Items 1&3 :Lucky oh no the builders have found us
    Items 1,2&3 : Hey.. what happened to Item 4?

  10. Some people need a high five in the face with a chair

  11. **HUSBAND AND WIFE**
    Husband: Baby whats for dinner
    Wife drops her pants .. “Me”
    Husband: “I’m tired of fish”

    LMAOOOOOO

  12. yo momma so fat the picture she took of herself last christmas is still printing

  13. Yo mama is is so stupid she puts a battery up her but and says “We got the power”

  14. Yo momma is so fat she goes to the beach and sees a wale and says “We are family”

  15. Yo mamma’s teeth are so yellow im surprised they ain’t butter

  16. Tell what is in your heart, for the Lord has been in there and left it for you.

  17. …..____________________ , ,__
    ……/ `—___________—-_____] – – – – – – – – ░ ▒▓▓█D
    …../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.
    …..), —.(_(__) /
    ….// (..) ), —-”
    … … … …//___//
    ..//___//
    .//___//

  18. Please don’t leave, don’t let me go, it’s not the last scene of the show.. <3 ;*

  19. LMS:If Your Somalian ♥
    Comment:If Your Proud To Be One
    Repost:If You Love Being One ;D

  20. i <3 Justin bieber

  21. Life is like a test .. do good thing and good thing will happen to you and do bad thing and bads things will happen “

  22. Bitch please,if you want to make me jealous,sleep with a horse.

  23. punoɹɐ ʞɔɐq ɹǝʇıuoɯ ǝɥʇ uɹnʇ ‘sıɥʇ pɐǝɹ uɐɔ noʎ ɟı

  24. <3 *Just call me Beautiful(;
    Call Me Beautiful(^*^)
    Call Me Beautiful(#_^)
    Call Me B-e-a-utiful* <3

  25. Megan Nicole B-e-a-utiful

  26. Put God First Then Yourself Then Your Family Then Freinds And Then…….Other Plans And Things To Do People Sholdn’t Know ;)

  27. Never assume that someone likes u by ur sweetness…Sometimes u r just an option whn they are free.

  28. Ignorence
    A woman goes to see a doctor. She has to wait in line to see him. Finally its her turn.
    WOMAN: Doctor, I have a problem, people ignore me.
    DOCTOR: Next!

  29. Jealous husband
    HUSBAND: My wife where are you?
    WIFE: At home love.
    HUSBAND: Are you sure?
    WIFE: Yes.
    HUSBAND: Turn on the blender.
    WIFE: (turns blender on) reeereeeereeee
    HUSBAND: Ok my love goodbye.

    Another day

    HUSBAND: My wife where are you?
    WIFE: At home love
    HUSBAND: Are you sure?
    WIFE: Yes
    HUSBAND: Turn on the blender
    WIFE: (turns blender on) reeereeeereeee
    HUSBAND: Ok my love goodbye

    The next day, the husband decides to go home without notice, and finds his son alone and he asked him son where is your mother?

    SON: I don’t know, she went out with the blender.:D :p

  30. **WARNING!!!** New privacy issue with Facebook!
    As of tomorrow, Facebook will creep into your bathroom when you’re in the shower, smack your butt, and then steal your clothes and towel. To change this option, go to Privacy Settings > Personal Settings > Bathroom Settings > Smacking and Stealing Settings, and uncheck the Shenanigans box. Facebook kept this one quiet. Copy and Paste on your status to alert the unaware!

  31. ♫║╔═╦╦╦═╗
    ║╚╣║║║║╩╣ __not war
    ╚═╩═╩═╩═♥
    condoms are cheaper than guns :) loving it

  32. :|] :|] :|] :|] :|] :|] :|] :|] :|] :|]
    :|] :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ :|] :|]
    :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ :|]
    :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ :|]
    :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ :|]
    :|] :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ :|] :|]
    :|] :|] :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ :|] :|] :|]
    :|] :|] :|] :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ :|] :|] :|] :|]
    :|] :|] :|] :|] :|] ♥ :|] :|] :|] :|] :|]

  33. FACEBOOK, SlutBook, meet just to FuckBook, trying to be sneaky but then get caught OutBook, ShameBook, LameBook, using a fake NameBook, corny in the streets but on here you got GameBook, JokeBook, PokeBook, everybody’s QuoteBook, in pictures you got money but in person you BrokeBook, SexBook, FlexBook, flirting with your ExBook, someone leaves a comment then you get a urgent TextBook, FightBook, LifeBook, everybody’s RightBook, someone needs to come up with a get a fucking LifeBook.

  34. Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Faces like yo’s belong in the zoo
    Don’t get mad, I’ll be there too
    Not in a cage but laughing at u

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