Your Status Updates

Have you seen or thought of a really funny or really clever facebook status update that you want to share with everyone?

Use the form below to add your status idea to this page!

335 Responses to “Your Status Updates”

  1. Myah Says:

    is saying life is short like you, GET OVER IT(:

  2. Sara Says:

    Maybe, but if that was true, everyone would be older than dirt!!!

  3. sammy Says:

    Is thinking about how she should be writing on facebook that she should be writing on myspace how she should be writing on facebook… but i cant be bothered

  4. Sai Says:

    is one million dollar short to be a millionaire

  5. vallie Says:

    is dead while typing this message

  6. Crystaal Says:

    wondering if i ripped my hand off and swallowed it if i could tickle the inside of my tummy…

  7. Andi Says:

    No matter how many times i get hurt because of you, I wont leave you . Because even if i have a thousand reasons to leave you, I’ll look for that one reason to fight for you. (:

  8. kenndra. Says:

    wonder why love is so difficult, when its so easy to fall in love with someone, and to fall out of love with someone.

  9. Nitchx Says:

    Just broke something. Ha..Ha..Ha

  10. Hanyan Says:

    Wonders why the world has to end why wars begin and wonders why there in the distance is you…wearing nothing but my panties

  11. Emma Says:

    Ich bin Blitz-Krieg……no seriously. I am so awesome Hitler made it after me and I wasn’t even born yer.

  12. leah Says:

    Betty Crockers my best friend :D

  13. leah Says:

    sweet..maybe if dad wouldtn leave his crap everywhere i wouldnt have a 4 inch nail stickin out of my tire right now!!! >:(

  14. leah Says:

    has no friends anymore

  15. leah Says:

    your girlfriend is cheating on you…with me :D

  16. leah Says:

    omgsh my baby sister jst said sexy buns :P

  17. leah Says:

    ( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ )band aid for broken hearts </3

  18. leah Says:

    sometime this hour somethin goods gonna happen!! :D

  19. leah Says:

    too bad Eves dead cause id prbly kill her jst bout now >:(

  20. leah Says:

    thinks its lame when you tell ppl the truth and they get mad and say shut up!! Ugh wow maturity

  21. leah Says:

    i have the golden tickets!!!! :D

  22. leah Says:

    love how theres like 75 ppl online yet i dont know who many are/talk to them :P

  23. leah Says:

    goodnight cruel world :P

  24. leah Says:

    why do rappers always have to say thier name in their songs?? it gets annoying

  25. leah Says:

    Sooo all ive done on my to do list is get out of bed…

  26. Rubilee Says:

    I’m serious, at 6 1/2 months pregnant, I SHOULD NOT be climbing through windows!!!

  27. Rubilee Says:

    My five year old Natas decided to pee in the cat box last night to see if it was better than the toilet!! He likes the toilet better.

  28. Rubilee Says:

    I have a little foot kicking my belly button!!!!

  29. Misha Says:

    can b ordered az McGorgeous @ McDonald’s! ;-)

  30. Froukje Says:

    H1N1? I laugh in the face of H1N1!! haha

  31. Tasia Says:

    iis watching. nothing. but a handful of stars… laying nxt ta your heart. holdin. your. handd. with our toes in the sandd. baby. ii know iit know…as we watch for the sunn. imma tell facebookk. that baby your the one.. <3

  32. Marian Says:

    life is a game, play it.

  33. Carlee Says:

    ♥ // [i] // ((lOve)) // {yOu} // ♥

  34. Alexis Says:

    My mind not only wandered, it left completely

  35. katelyn Says:

    says you used to make me laugh but now your just an old photograph

  36. alanna Says:

    && no boy is worth your tears;; but once you find one that is, he won’t make you cry

  37. katelyn Says:

    dont let the chans of life hold u done always stay free

  38. TP1412 Says:

    Im Done,Done Fighting For You. Cause Now I Know, the Reason Behind My Sadness Is You.

  39. kelsey Says:


  40. kelsey Says:

    is bringing sexy back…to the store for a refund !

  41. Shandogggggggg Says:

    is standing next to your bed.. stareing at you as you sleep…

  42. Shandogggggggg Says:

    is twittering that she is sitting in a dark room with her DS

  43. Shandogggggggg Says:

    wants to marry facebook

  44. maddie Says:

    is not studying for Religon exam because “Jesus will help me.”

  45. Sexxyy girl Says:

    …97% of teens are bringing sexy back, i’m the part of the 3% of teens that never lost it!!!

  46. loveya Says:

    ǝƃɐd ɹnoʎ oʇuo sIɥʇ ǝʇsɐd puɐ ʎdoɔ ‘sʎɐs sɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ ʇno ǝɹnƃIɟ oʇ ɥƃnouǝ ʇɹɐɯs ǝɹɐ noʎ ɟI

  47. loveya Says:

    ♥♥-♥♥—-рυτ тніѕ —♥♥—♥♥—ои уоυя —♥♥—♥♥—рαgε —♥♥—♥♥—іf уоυ киоω —-♥♥-♥♥—-ѕомεоиε —–♥♥♥—–ωно нαѕ оя —-♥♥-♥♥—-нαѕ нαd —♥♥–♥♥—сαисεя ♥♥-♥♥

  48. Sexxyy girl Says:

    …everybody runs faster with a knife!!!

  49. Sexxyy girl Says:

    is wondering why we have halloween when our parents say never talk to strangers???

  50. Sexxyy girl Says:

    is MAD at u for being MAD at me for being MAD at her for being MAD at him for punching that guy!!!….what a complited life

  51. Sexxyy girl Says:

    …other people’s stupidity amuses me

  52. Sexxyy girl Says:

    likes this game, WAIT……do u have aids???

  53. Sexxyy girl Says:

    is the Biggest Loser!!!

  54. Sexxyy girl Says:

    …it takes skills tobtrip over flat surfaces

  55. Sexxyy girl Says:

    is sooo kool……i make ice cubes jealous

  56. Sexxyy girl Says:

    …save the world……its the only place with chocolate!!!

  57. Sexxyy girl Says:

    wants u out of my bubble

  58. keeley Says:

    ( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ )no one can mend a broken hearts </3 but it's nice for them to try :)

  59. lemony Says:

    Lemony: now comes with a surprise kids toy!!!!

  60. William Says:

    one person I’d never play Hide ‘n’ Seek with is Osama Bin Laden…don’t ask me why….

  61. WhaleBait Says:

    There’s an app for that

  62. Annie Says:

    they say love is blind bull my boyfriend is sexy and I love hym what’s so blind about that??

  63. Annie Says:

    My boyfriend kisses meh to make his friends jelious, what he don’t know is meh and his friends kiss behind his backs

  64. Fizzi Says:

    What goes up and never comes down? …………….. Your age.

  65. Prajyot Says:

    misunderstanding- the worst thing that can happen between friends :(

  66. Prajyot Says:

    Life’s to Live, Life’s to Enjoy.. Live Life completely coz Life gets its meaning only when there’s LIFE in it..

  67. Kathy Says:

    dude i think ur gay…. :]

  68. Pamela Says:

    omg i dreamed about you last night and i was touching your face….i woke up scatching my ass.

  69. Pamela Says:

    when i see your eyes it makes me dream, when i see your smile it makes me happy, when i see your abbs it makes me wanna lick them, when i see your body it makes me wanna fuck’em.

  70. J0J0 Says:

    i try to be your friend when you have no one else….now you got a new friend and im outta da picture :[……

  71. J0J0 Says:

    dude i can smell you from here :S

  72. J0J0 Says:

    DUDE! you smell like sweaty cammal ball sacs! EWWWWWWW

  73. ash Says:

    SUCK MY DICK !!!! dude not really !!!!

  74. Agatha Says:

    is right behind you.

  75. rubyrachelrizada Says:

    dont push me to the limit,, i dont want myself to fall inlove with you…

  76. Me Says:

    AHHHHHHHHH Real Monsters!!!!

  77. I Says:

    What happens when you eat gum and the gum tree gets too big for your stomach.

  78. rahtard100 Says:

    i hate it when my momma leaves baskets around … i seem to fall in them every timee :(

  79. Ghena Says:

    When never goes right , go left

  80. red Says:

    just went from being “single” to “in a fake relationship” to boost his self esteem.

  81. melissa Says:

    i wish you were my maths homework you would be hard and i would be doing you on the desk

  82. farhan Says:

    iS WiTh YoUr GirLFrieND

  83. Natalie Says:

    Thinks that if you talk to objects , you aren’t crazy .
    But if they answer …

  84. Hinata Says:

    Is thinking about twittering, About writing on my facebook about updating my myspace to say that I need to write on my myyearbook to remind myself to remember to reply to my email about checking my vampirerave to twitter about that one boy… Then I need to facebook remind myself to………. Just Breath!!!!!!!

  85. Hinata Says:

    Wonders how her tears keep falling when she is SOOO very dead inside……

  86. Donna Says:

    The future is so freakin’ wild! XD

  87. Yousra Says:

    My life is complicated …. my stupid boyfriend cheats on me :@

  88. Tin Says:

    ….just wanna have fun :)

  89. Ritzel Aster Says:

    Life and Love is like a puzzle…
    Life is a maze and Love is like a riddle…

  90. Kevin Says:

    I’m here for your entertainment

  91. Phearom Chea Says:

    `·.. Justin Bieber

  92. jaycee Says:

    “Your tall, you must play basket ball”
    “your short and fat, does that mean you get to be the basket ball?”

  93. Stephanie Says:

    Me- What was that car’s name from the movie CARS?
    My cousin- McQuick? McLovin?
    *Looks at silly bandz package*
    Me- Oh! Its McQueen!

  94. lenzzy Says:

    searching for someone..

    my bff: is that him?
    me:no .. dont think so
    my bff: why dont u think so? its him! u bitch!
    me:how did u know that its him?
    my:bff cause its him!


  95. lenzzy Says:

    Sometime in life,you find a special friend; Someone who changes your life just being part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you cant stop; Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it.

  96. Jenn Says:

    When life gives you lemons, throw them at people. When life gives you sugar, exchange it for lemons and throw them at people. That’s what its all about.

  97. silvia Says:

    just went from being “single” to “in a fake relationship” to play a game.

  98. zosta Says:

    don’t be sad, get glad!

  99. Lacey Says:

    I didn’t fall…………. I simply attacked the floor. :]

  100. Jessie she is sexy Says:

    If Its Not Write its left !

  101. Sierrah Spotten Says:

    “My doctor asked if any members of my family suffered from insanity, I
    replied, no, we all seem to enjoy it.”

  102. Jessie she is sexy Says:

    ╔═╗ Are You..

    ☑ Yes ☐ No

  103. Brianna Says:

    No But im SUPERGIRL hahahah :P

  104. Brianna is Awsome Says:

    Wonders why when ever you find the one guy he always turns out to be gay now why is it that all the hot guys are gay hmmmmm thats sad :(

  105. Brianna is Awsome Says:

    Is wondering why…. why…. CRAP I forgot what I was going to say…. AGAIN!!!!

  106. Jackie Kasbohm Says:

    Sometimes, I wish I didn’t have a heart then maybe it wouldn’t hurt that bad when my world falls apart. I cling to my dreams because there always my new best memories. That’s where my hopes wait patiently, only if i could give them flesh and make them breathe. That way you’d be there with me.<3 <3

  107. Jackie Kasbohm Says:


  108. Jackie Kasbohm Says:

    When well he realize that I’m a keeper, because i already know that he is.

  109. Ashleigh Says:

    When life gives you lemons just sit there and stare at them!!

  110. Nicolee Says:

    Freindss are for everr
    BUT Boyss just come and GO!!

  111. Aeriee Says:

    Why can’t you share your bed? The most loving thing to do is to share your bed with someone. It’s very charming. It’s very sweet. It’s what the whole world should do.
    Michael Jackson, you would say something like this…
    Goodnight world♥

  112. kat Says:

    Those who critisize our generation forget who raised it

  113. TechPaparazzi Says:

    Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.

  114. Rayanon Says:

    ..promises that my best friend and I WILL be the ones raising Hell in the nursing home at 90!!!!!!!

  115. theMoNsTeR! Says:

    when your in love you can’t fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams…….

  116. Becky Says:

    this status has been brought to u by: Bored Outta My Mind INC.

  117. anoop shahi Says:

    i have updated my status just now …so i feel good…what about you?

  118. Sydney Says:

    No, Facebook… What’s on YOUR mind.

  119. Sydney Says:

    Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass… It’s about learning to dance in the rain<3.

  120. Caitlyn Bieber Says:

    I’d die to meet Justin Bieber, oh wait, no i wouldnt, because then i’d be dead, & i couldnt meet him.

  121. Sheley ddckson Says:

    Wanna here the mosquitos new #1 hit?
    ” I’m a disease, I’m a disease “

  122. Shelley Dickson Says:

    House fule #101
    If when using our Seat,
    Your stink knocks you to your Feet.
    PLEASE !!use “FeBrEEze” (located under the sink )
    To put both our noses & stomachs at EASE !!!!!!!

  123. Shelley Dickson Says:

    I have the next “Canadain Idle ”
    He’s on my coach

  124. unknown =P Says:

    Curry’s don’t sell Curry’s, Boots don’t sell boots, dominoes don’t sell dominoes, Borders didn’t sell Borders… Superdrug is just a waste of time.

  125. Zoec Says:

    I will drop kick you into next week!!! >:E

  126. Zoec Says:

    I’m as mad as Mad Hatter :D

  127. Zoec Says:

    I eat lighting…and crap thunder. :D

  128. Zoec Says:

    “All we have to decide, is what to do with the time that is given to us….” – Gandalf

  129. Zoec Says:

    It’s no good to wonder about absurdities.

  130. Zoec Says:

    Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

  131. nezzy Says:

    when life gives you lemon stuff them in your bra!!

  132. shubh Says:

    my wife’s pregnent…..and i want to dance with her….

  133. georgia Says:

    ╔═╗ IS

    LOL JK im buzz lightyear

  134. CHANTAL Says:


  135. Hannah Kayyy Says:


  136. Chelsea Says:

    How do you wake up lady gaga? — Pa-pa-pa-POKE HER FACE :P

  137. Nageen Says:

    i lOvE yOur smilE bEcAusE…
    my fAvOritE cOlOur is yEllOw;)

  138. shania Says:

    is chillin; with jesus :P

  139. fae Says:

    looking for a right one is not easy to find..

  140. DJ Xtra Bass Says:


    1. Ants don’t sleep
    2. Dolphins sleep with one eye shut
    3. Horses do most of their sleeping standing up
    4. Snails can sleep for up to three years

    I AM BORED.COM!!!!

  141. Elaaajn Says:

    good girls gone bad

  142. Betzy Says:

    It’s great to fall INLOVE, but when that person falls totaly INLOVE with you back it’s the GREATEST feeling in the world!!! <3

  143. Breezy101 Says:

    When life gives u lemons ….. Try to make kool-aid :0

  144. Breezy101 Says:

    Excuse me, EXCUSE ME .. OH MY GOSH MOVE!!!

  145. fae Says:

    i totally understand that nobody will stay permanently, so i mastered letting go.. =(

  146. haniah ahmed Says:

    Three o’clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. -JeanPaul Sartre

  147. .....ab Says:

    some of these make no sense at all. ugh! i hate this website and facebook now sucks
    Love ya tootsie-ab

  148. boblynette Says:

    joke time:)(you know the procedure)
    **fat winston finds an old lamp, after giving it a polish a genie appears… he gives winston one wish. id like to be slim, white and surrounded by pussy… there was a puff of smoke and winston turned into a tampon. remember, if youre offered something for nothing there;s usually a string attached.;)

  149. Zoec Says:

    ‘I love you’ consists of 8 letters…well so does ‘bullshit’

  150. JASMiiNE (: Says:

    Eh life :D
    No matter how many times i get hurt because of you, I wont leave you . Because even if i have a thousand reasons to leave you, I’ll look for that one reason to fight for you. (:
    i Will Just get over the love you havee :P !

  151. Luvie(Luvona) Says:

    I love u Peter L.c:

  152. Noor Says:

    I love u but u hurt me which means u don’t deserve my love anymore

  153. Noor Says:

    Don’t be so flattered, i just sent you a friend request not a marriage proposal.

  154. znarf Says:

    the are no free rides, but you can ride with me.

  155. Elita Says:

    When I saw you I was afraid to meet you. When I met you I was afraid to kiss you. When I kissed you I was afraid to love you. Now that I love you, I am afraid to lose you

  156. Tanya Says:

    arrr thats so cute :)

  157. RISSA Says:

    9:00 PM.- Boy: I’ll call you tomorrow
    12:00 AM – *Phone rings* Girl: Hello? Boy: I said I’d call you tomorrow <3

  158. RISSA Says:

    If I die, or travel far, I would write your name on every star, so everyone could look up and see, that you mean the world to me.

  159. RISSA Says:

    “I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi or even smile at me because I know, even if its just for a second, that I have crossed your mind.”

  160. RISSA Says:

    Love is just a word until someone gives it a meaning. <3

  161. RISSA Says:

    RAWR means I love you in dinosaur!

  162. RISSA Says:

    RAWR means I love you in dinosaur!


  163. RISSA Says:

    Girl- let’s just break up
    Boy- ok then, ill just go back to my ex
    Girl- wow your an idiot, we’re totally over
    *Next day*
    Boy: I still love you
    Girl: I thought we broke up and you were gonna go back to your ex?
    Boy:Exactly, I’m coming back to you(:

  164. RISSA Says:

    I LOVE YOU! If you love me comment or like this status !! <3

  165. Jazzi Baybehh Says:


  166. Jazzi Baybehh Says:

    Kid in 6th Period: It’s gonna be madd fun this summer! :D

    Me: Your mom’s gonna be madd fun this summer >:)

  167. Mantha Says:

    10 reasons to date a CHEERLEADER
    1 We never get tired
    2 We like to ride it to the top
    3 We are always tight
    4 We know how to use our hips
    5 We can get you exited in less than 2 minutes
    6 We keep going till we hit it
    7 We can bend into any position
    8 We can take the pain
    9 We’re not afraid to preform in front of a crowd

  168. Elizabeth Says:

    A friend would lend you their umbrella in the rain, a ‘best’ friend would steal it from you and scream “run bitch, RUN!”

  169. kaylee Says:

    I love you , dont forget it.<3
    I will always be there for you.

  170. brian Says:

    Secret no clue is a total dork!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  171. pakhi Says:

    ( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ )no one can mend a broken hearts </3 but it's nice for them to try :

  172. Sexie babby. Says:

    Hatred gone hate, so talk shit get hit biotch ;)

  173. Sexie babby. Says:

    That moment when you see your very first love tht left you fir your best friend kissing in the hallway and all you can do is stand back and think wow, That couldn’t been me.

  174. Iyah Says:

    This is The Worst profile ever:
    Post this on your status (like I did)to spread the word!

  175. Ny-ny Says:

    ☐ Single ☐ Taken ☑ Doin Me

  176. Melissa Says:

    if skinny people go skinny dipping so does that mean fat people go chunky dunking ?

  177. Dove.secretss Says:

    Any one can kick ass, anyone can talk shit, but u see it takes real fk skill to destroy the way i did, not wit my hands, no i dont need that ..

  178. Dove.secretss Says:

    Its always great to hear and see from those we Love dearly & from who we know Love us back as well

  179. Sarah Says:

    I hate it when Ke$ha holds up you’re party because she hasn’t walked in.

  180. Sarah Says:

    All those years I watched Arthur, I never knew what kind of animal he was.

  181. chin Says:

    live like you know who your GOD is..

  182. The Matt Dodson01 Show Says:

    Once Upon a Facebook Status…….

  183. The Matt Dodson01 Show Says:


  184. Brittany Says:

    Yes; I miss u. incase you started to care or something

  185. Sarah Says:

    “Oh it’s too late to apologize… Too laate..” So why the heck are you saying to ‘apologize’ in the songs title?!?

    Friend: Helloeee x :L
    Me: Hii :s
    Friend: What’ss wroong? x
    Me: Noothiiin ….
    Friend: NO. Tell me what’s wrong!?
    Me: I said nothing…
    Friend: I said tell me whats wrong!?!

    Boyfriend: I love you ♥
    Girlfriend: Oh really?
    Boyfriend: Yes really’♥
    Girlfriend: Then why the fuck did you cheat on me and have sex with your black ops disk!?
    Boyfriend: Bu..But! I…The hole was so tempting!

    Don’t you hate it when you’re mum or dad tells you to get something for them just when you sit down and get all comfortable?

    “It’s been so long, long. Since I haven’t seen your face…. Tryna be strong, strong. Since the strengh I had is washing away..” Akon, you haven’t seen my face because I don’t know you in real life. Akon, you never was strong, and what the heck, how can something wash strengh away!?
    (I am not a Akon hater, I love him.)

    Girlfriend: Sigh, I’mma go sit on the sofa..
    *Sits down* CRAACKK… *Boyfriend comes in*
    Boyfriend: Hey babee ;) You seen my black ops disk?
    Girlfriend: Oh crap, erm, no sorry.
    Boyfriend: Damnit for fuck sake! Where the fuck is it!
    *Girlfriend gets up, forgetting about the crack she heard and hugs the boyfriend*
    Girlfriend: Now now, there’s more to life than a disk, like me.. I love you ♥
    *Boyfriend looks at the broken black ops disk*

    Put this as your status if you once had a boyfriend who cared more about something else then you, that when you broke that something, he dumped you.

  186. James Davis Says:

    feels like updating his status & reading it out loud… then commenting on my own status like i’m talking to myself on it & reading my friends statuses out loud & then i end up changing my status to “stop talking to yourself!”

  187. LOL Says:

    My heart is like a fb photo. You “like” it and then you report it

  188. nicol Says:

    how some glue doesnt stick inside the tube

  189. angel szheei. Says:

    being CHiLDiSH is sed to be da MOST iRRiTATiNG as a GF’s/BF’s .. TRUE RiGHT ?! but hu rejects da thought dat CHiLDiSH PERSON is SWEETER than da MATURED one. Ü

  190. angel szheei. Says:

    JEALOUS is sometimes the reason why ur relationship gets COMPLiCATED ! but don’t eu know dat being JEALOUS is very important ! becoz being jealous is a shortway of saying.. ” KALUGURAN DAKA AT EDAKA BURING MIRAS KENG ALIWA! “

  191. BethanyyBoii x Says:

    A,B,C,D,E,F,G Gummy Bears Are After Mehh
    1 Is Red and , 1 Is Blue , 1 Is Peeing on my shoe
    Now im Running for my life cause the RED ones Got a Knife

  192. samantha Says:

    why do girls stick with a guy who just loves to play video games everyday instead of looking for another job that needs fulltime employees this is what i needed to get off my chest.

  193. salma Says:

    I love my self <3

  194. Kailey Says:

    Kesha got it all wrong its;
    The guys are lining up cuz they hear we got FEVER,
    but we kick em to the cirb unless they,
    look like JBIEBER! <3

  195. Nicole Says:

    ^^^ i HATE justin BEANER. mmmkay thats all [:♥

  196. Kailey Says:

    Well i love him ^^
    so idc what YOU SAY
    SO YEAH…

  197. JFizzy Says:

    my friend rebecca just texted me in class and i accidently read it out loud…it said “Someone just came into the class and started touching me” I was thouroughly embarassed when i looked up and saw everyone in class staring at me 0.o

  198. Kristina Says:

    Okay now I know ive been working at wendys to long, i looked down at the hamburger patty and i swore i heard eminem and rhianna singing
    “just gonna stand there and watch me burn”
    thats alright cuz i love the way it hurts
    Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
    thats alright cuz you love the way i fry

  199. Korlysse Says:

    Only boring people get bored

  200. Korlysse Says:

    Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?

  201. joshua Says:

    lick! lick! me like a lolly pop…..!

  202. Aysha ali Says:

    I a hot..come and flirt with me.

  203. Shelby Says:

    Roses are red, violets are blue, got made me sexy wat happened to you?? WTF?? :P

  204. Diamond Says:

    Roses are red, violets are blue, god made me buetiful.. now what the devil happend to u?? :P

  205. Lonnie Says:

    *-{i love when you smile.. because my favorite color is yellow}-*

  206. Lonnie Says:

    lmao!! i told my freind the police was looking for u to day at school … and she actually went up to the police.! sayying did u put that on my criminal record<< LMAO OMG!

  207. michael Says:

    cola truck

  208. lady joker Says:

    S.E.X IS LIKE Math


  209. -bREEZy:) Says:

    the word for to day is “LEGS”
    so let go to your room and “SPREAD” the word…haaa’

  210. JustinBieber Lover Says:

    I love Justin❤Drew❤Bieber,
    He is amazing ;)❤

  211. oliviaa Says:

    Justin Bieber he cant sing,
    He cant afford real bling.
    His voice finally broke,
    Whilst his tounge was shoved down Selina’s throat.
    He sounds like a five year old still,
    He’s so cheap he dont bay the bill.
    He masterbates all day,
    If you ask me, I think he is gay.

  212. JustinBieber Lover Says:

    Yeah but no-one asked you love.

  213. oliviaa Says:

    Justin Bieber is a dick’ed,
    He still has a single bed.
    His songs are shit, his hair is gay,
    He lives a shitty life with sad girls following him all day.
    People think he’s soooo amazing,
    They would sit there forever, gazing.
    I don’t get why everyone likes him,
    He’s gay, fugly and dim.
    He dont deserve shit like a grammy,
    His speach would be: “Sorry most of you cant stand me.”
    Take the hint Bieber, you a gay little shit,
    Go back to where you came from, your candian pit.

  214. JustinBieber Lover Says:

    Leave him alonee.
    Lovee youu Justinnnn❤

  215. ViRusZmJsc Says:

    i aM not tYpinG anYthiNg nOw ..

  216. shawna Says:

    hey nice rhymes up there =D

  217. amandahhhh. Says:

    uhm, nobody asked for your opinion on Justin, like really get a life. stop talking about him. if you don’t like him why do you take your time writing stupid rhymes!? so yeah, uhm HATERS.
    so kthxbye.
    btw, this is for “oliviaa”.

  218. AnjelicaGuerrero Says:

    just deleted her facebook.

  219. mariposal0v3 Says:

    shhhhh…listen…do you hear that? :) they beat together :) one louder then the other…but they have the same rythm :) because when we are together they become one :)

  220. Lovely Says:

    you girls arguing over justin bieber need to see nigahigas video bieber fever haha :)…just saying…but ehhh! i dont like him either…id rather hear a girl sing than i guy trying to sound like a girl singing

  221. Jordyn (girl) Says:

    I thought only babies pooped their pants…….but when my grandma came over…. things got dirty reeeaaal fast.

  222. kristena jegrth Says:

    sometimes u gotta let go. cuz the next thing u grap onto just might be it<3

  223. Lisa J Says:


  224. natii Says:

    i hate justiin hiis voiice sounds liike a giirl voiice!! really!! dont like him!!

  225. Sweet Says:

    i hate him too !
    God , he’s soooooooooo fugly !

  226. no one Says:

    y u gya all hatin JB u guys never met him so stop dissin someone u dont kno :P

  227. mgd Says:

    ╚ove •_•

  228. Samantha Says:

    I don’t like him either but “Oliviaa” that was seriously rude…

  229. Angie Says:

    The perfect boyfriend doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, doesn’t cheat, and….doesn’t exist

  230. mae Says:

    someone always saying GOODBYE..i believe it hurts when we cry, don’t we know parting is never so easy..???

  231. meh.. Says:

    ..i like you na nga eh…
    …….kaso lng meron na aqong bf tapos my gf ka na rin..sayang naman…

  232. jake Says:

    Are you trying to be annoying or are you just retarded?

  233. Lashawn Says:

    I love it all. LMFAO yall are to funny :D

  234. chrissy Says:

    Waiter : Hello , would you like a table ?
    You : Nah mate , we booked the floor .

  235. Hannah Says:


    (Justin Beiber sounds like a girl but is so hot but hes 17 and looks like hes 12 :o

  236. Hannah Says:

    Yoohoo over there….yea I like yoohooz :|]

  237. Hannah Says:

    Kid: Punch no you havent

  238. LeilaniVampycan Says:

    Tacos are delicious n_n :D <3 XD

  239. Hassan Qatari Says:

    Friend like pieces of puzzle,,,,, if u loose one it will never be complete again… just want you to know…. you are one of the pieces i cant ever lose

  240. Hassan Qatari Says:

    We cannot be together,
    But we’ll never be apart,
    For no matter what life brings us,
    You’re always in my heart

  241. marC anhelo RarO Says:

    i dont like a new updates

  242. JoyBaby Says:

    In the beginning, God made the Heaven and the Earth. The rest was Made in China. :D

  243. La Says:

    ppl always say life is a puzzle
    and you need all the pieces to
    complete your way of life and
    some ppl need other ppl in there life to
    complete it….
    Your my missing puzzle piece.. i love you babe

  244. Łîkë-Å-Grîmînāł Says:

    -I want you to turn me on,, push my buttons;, I want to be just like your blackberry<3(8888) ;D

  245. Breece Says:

    I am so cool and hot that I make ice cubes and then give them 3rd degree burns!

  246. Tabatha Says:

    LIKE ♥ for :Summerr ’11 We Shouldd ___ ?
    [] Play fight
    [] Party
    [] Get Wasted
    []Cuddle at night (=jk
    [] Have A Night Out (:
    [] Go to the BEACH
    [] Have A Sleep Over *
    [] Talk More (:
    [] Get To Know Each Other :D
    [] Text (:
    [] Friendly Date
    [] Live In The Moment;x
    [] Run Away from Cops xD
    [] Do Something Crazy >;D
    [] Take Pictures
    [] Putt this as ur Status For Me To Like ;P

  247. Tabatha Says:

    How many stars are you worth ?
    [] *
    [] * *
    [] * * *
    [] * * * *
    [] * * * * *

    Would I date you ?
    [] YES ♥
    [] Maybe
    [] Of Course
    [] No Comment
    [] I Don’t Know
    [] No

    What Level are you on ?
    [] Sexy
    [] Okay
    [] Gorgeous
    [] Pretty
    [] Very Cute
    [] Ugly

    You should
    [] Be Mine
    [] Make Sure We Hang
    [] Talk To Me
    [] Text me
    [] Give me yo number so we can text

  248. Tabatha Says:

    ╚═╩═╩═╩═♥ YOU !!!

  249. Brooke Says:

    Well seems as if girls have nothing better to do than hate on Justin Bieber, shutup. Your jealous. Shove that!

  250. vampgurl78 Says:

    i’m not always right, i’m just neva wrong

  251. CENDOKENDO Says:

    just finished reading all the comments…and is still bored

  252. Eristasia Says:

    And the award for____goes to..!


    And the award for best friend goes to Bacilia!

  253. salin Says:

    ‘t’ for true and ‘t’ for true
    A-your grlfrend is a great fan of justin bieber..
    B-you are jealous of hiM..
    C-and you think that justin bieber is a gay..
    in fact even i think he’s gay,,,coz he is fuckin gay….but i ‘d like to request u…not to say these fuckin things to justin gayber…

  254. Łukasz Kępczyński Says:

    That’s fun!

  255. Łukasz Kępczyński Says:

    Real fun!

  256. Mykaila Says:

    Love liyfe while you have the time to liv it

  257. Mykaila Says:

    Luv life while you have the time to liv it

  258. thissgirll Says:


  259. i-am-the-coolest-person-here! Says:

    please don’t swear people it is not a nice thing to do :( to be honest when you swear it does’nt make you seem like a nice person and it shows that you don’t have a good vocab because you cant think of other words to say….

  260. trubitchstacie Says:

    i like sugar and i like tea but i dont like bieber no sury!!

  261. mitch Says:

    As long as we have memories, yesterday remains. As long as we have hope, tomorrow waits. As long as we have love, today is beautiful.

  262. Bringing It Back Says:

    That awkward moment when you get in the van… and the man has no candy :(

  263. Lindsey Says:

    If roses are red, and violets are blue……then what the hell is the color violet? -Ryan Higa

  264. BonnieBlu Says:

    Ah, I see Facebook has a game called “Horse Saga”. Wasn’t that the working title for Ann Coulter’s autobiography?

  265. hah oky Says:

    i asked if u like me you said no i asked if i was pretty u said no i asked if i was in your heart u said no i asked if u wuld cry if i walked away u said no so i did then u grabed my arm and sai i dont like u i love u ur not pretty ur beautiful ur not in my heart u r my heart and i wuldnt cry if u waked away i wuld die :D

  266. Alyssa Says:

    x) oɐɯl ˙ʎɯɯnʎ sı sıuǝd

  267. hero Says:

    ¡ ɹǝʌǝu ʎɐs ɹǝʌǝu

  268. Elizabeth Says:

    the time when your ex wants you back… and you HAVE to say no..

  269. Ralanda Says:

    Its Kinda Dumb That You You Think That Life Is Just A Chemistry Lab And Im The Experiment… But Ayy, Hows About This One Just Blew Up *INYO’FACE!!!*

  270. Ralanda Says:

    Just Hate It When Your Watching T.V And The Remote Doesn’t Work, Like Turn It Around You FRKN Idiot! ~ Its F/cken Backwards. Lmao!

  271. Ralanda Says:

    now i could’ve sworn that i was watching ghost hunters, but then it suddenly changed to silent library. like WTF?! ~lol oh wait just sat on the remote.

  272. Ralanda Says:

    Read each sentence:This is this cat. This is is cat.This is how cat. This is to cat. This is keep cat. This is a cat. This is retard cat. This is busy cat. This is for cat. This is 40 cat. This is seconds cat. Now read every third word in each sentence :)

  273. Ralanda Says:

    Boy:What happened?
    Girl:The guy I like has a girlfriend..
    Boy:Well,he’s an idiot for picking her instead of you..His girlfriend must be a slut.
    Girl:I can’t believe you called your girlfriend a slut:D

  274. karalyne Says:

    i love you
    i hate you
    i like you
    i dispice you
    i wanna marry you
    i wanna leave you
    i wanna have kids with you
    i wanna play with you
    im gonna kill you
    im gonna stay with you
    im all alone with you
    i like your brother
    i forgot whats your name
    i wanna tag you
    i wanna chat with you
    i wanna poke you
    i wanna kiss you
    i wanna hug you
    i wanna be your girlfriend
    i wanna hold hands

    you wanna chat with me
    you wanna kiss me
    you wanna hug me
    you wanna marry me
    you wanna hold hands
    you wanna be my boyfriend
    you like me
    you hate me
    you love me
    you dispice me
    you wanna poke me
    you wanna tag me
    you wanna play with me
    we love eachother
    we kiss eachother
    we like eachother
    we poke eachother
    we dispice eachother
    we kill eachother
    we fell in llove
    we were marryed
    we are husband and wife
    are wish came true <3

  275. karalyne Says:

    lɯl(*‾-) 3> ʎxǝs puɐ ʎddɐɥ ǝɯ sǝʞɐɯ ʇɐɥʇ 3> ǝlıɯs ɹnoʎ pǝǝu ı

  276. Nomnom Says:

    You know you have a problem when you spend a half hour thinking of a facebook status that will get a lot of likes.

  277. lolzz Says:

    i-i-i-i-i like u-r-r-r s-s-smile! mlm(*_#)mlm ♥

  278. Stephanie Says:

    If you’re not working on trying to be mine, then you shouldn’t be worrying about who’s consuming my time.

  279. lolzz Says:

    if somebody is jealous about my writting DONT BE JEALOUS!!!!!…(clears throat)…thank you :)

  280. Jay Madsen Says:

    Im like a dictionary just with one problem I only know the full deffinition of one word [SWAG] to find out the whole deffinition look at my facebook page:D

  281. Jay Madsen Says:

    Me and my sister go tothe store and we see this guy and he looks hella beaner so m sister says
    Sis: Hola
    Bisa: Hola
    Sis: Como esta?
    Bisa:[hella goes offon her in spanish]
    Sis: Wow wow wow Dora hasn’t taught me that much spasnih

  282. Jay Madsen Says:


    You: Hey have you seen that movie “Other People?”
    Them: No
    You: Well thats what I wanna see

  283. Jay Madsen Says:

    Wow i seen your mom a few days ago can you just let her know Halloween isn’t here yet?

  284. Jay Madsen Says:

    …..____________________ , ,__
    ……/ `—___________—-_____] – – – – – – – – ░ ▒▓▓█D
    …..), —.(_(__) /
    ….// (..) ), —-”
    … … … …//___//

  285. lovya Says:

    when nothing
    goes right
    go left

  286. Bryan Says:

    ¡puɐʇsƃǝʞ ɐ ,uıop ǝlıɥʍ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ uɐɔ ı ɟooɹd

  287. Wah ! Says:

    Facebok art

  288. somone Says:

    …is feeling spicy

  289. somone Says:

    as you unlock my heart, with the key of marrage as you take everythung good. then you go and soend it and hit me

  290. vannesian Says:

    love is easy to start
    but hard to stop

  291. Mehh Says:

    Do A Split On Muhh Dick.(:

  292. mintu Says:

    WtF all of you…. (..!..)

  293. BabiiJ Says:

    You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.
    In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it..

  294. fluffy Says:

    I just went Hell and back and it was ur Mom.LOL

  295. fluffy Says:

    Your boss is like a diaper always on your ass and usually full of shit!

  296. Someone Says:

    “i lost my teddy bear. can i sleep with you?” ;)

  297. Krista Says:

    Im not going to be that rebound girl, the girl you just come to when you want her, the girl who loves you with everything she has but yet you give nothing. Im not willing to be that girl anymore. Sorry, sweetie, but Im gone.

  298. Krista Says:

    Im done with tears. Im wiping my eyes. If he doesnt care then why the hell should I?

  299. Mitchie Says:

    What would Jesus do? ohh yea i forgot, your jewish

  300. chris Says:

    its days like this when you want to dunk your head in ice water. so if you don’t mind, I need to find a bucket and some ice water.

  301. skye Says:

    ║╚╣║║║║╩╣ __not war
    condoms are cheaper than guns :)

  302. Delaney Says:

    the world is going to hell, and i am driving the bus! :P

  303. KaTY-Goochii Says:

    You are my number 3, with out you i cant make my heart <3 xxx

  304. lola Says:

    LMS:If Your Mexican
    Comment:If Your Proud To Be One
    Repost:If You Love Being One ;D

  305. lollipoppppsXD Says:

    What would Jesus do? ohh yea i forgot, your jewish

  306. Paigee Says:

    Everyone keeps telling me that the right guy will come round, but I think mine got hit by a bus.

  307. Maria Lovezz You Says:

    Roses are red
    Facebook is blue
    No mutal friends

  308. miau miau Says:

    Roses are RED ,
    FB is blue

    coffee is black
    and im john

  309. Magic cake Says:

    Item 1 :Life is hard for me
    Item 2 :same
    Item 3 :Time flies for me
    Item 2 :Same
    Item 4 :Life is cold for me
    Item list
    Item 1 = Brick
    Item 3 = Clock that was covered in red bull
    Item 4 = Ice cube
    Item 2 = Brick with a hole in it for liquid that was filled with red bull and had a watch as a belt who lives in a freezer
    Items 1&3 :Lucky oh no the builders have found us
    Items 1,2&3 : Hey.. what happened to Item 4?

  310. epic cupcake Says:

    Some people need a high five in the face with a chair

  311. Jay'lee Monroe Says:

    Husband: Baby whats for dinner
    Wife drops her pants .. “Me”
    Husband: “I’m tired of fish”


  312. Tori Says:

    yo momma so fat the picture she took of herself last christmas is still printing

  313. Jayven Says:

    Yo mama is is so stupid she puts a battery up her but and says “We got the power”

  314. Jayven Says:

    Yo momma is so fat she goes to the beach and sees a wale and says “We are family”

  315. Jayven Says:

    Yo mamma’s teeth are so yellow im surprised they ain’t butter

  316. Chicken lover Says:

    Tell what is in your heart, for the Lord has been in there and left it for you.

  317. Jered Says:

    …..____________________ , ,__
    ……/ `—___________—-_____] – – – – – – – – ░ ▒▓▓█D
    …..), —.(_(__) /
    ….// (..) ), —-”
    … … … …//___//

  318. Cierra Says:

    Please don’t leave, don’t let me go, it’s not the last scene of the show.. <3 ;*

  319. kadee Says:

    LMS:If Your Somalian ♥
    Comment:If Your Proud To Be One
    Repost:If You Love Being One ;D

  320. kadee Says:

    i <3 Justin bieber

  321. kadee Says:

    Life is like a test .. do good thing and good thing will happen to you and do bad thing and bads things will happen “

  322. daniel Says:

    Bitch please,if you want to make me jealous,sleep with a horse.

  323. Julie M Kochanowski Says:

    punoɹɐ ʞɔɐq ɹǝʇıuoɯ ǝɥʇ uɹnʇ ‘sıɥʇ pɐǝɹ uɐɔ noʎ ɟı

  324. NeonColours Says:

    <3 *Just call me Beautiful(;
    Call Me Beautiful(^*^)
    Call Me Beautiful(#_^)
    Call Me B-e-a-utiful* <3

  325. NeonColours Says:

    Megan Nicole B-e-a-utiful

  326. {PrettiFacePrecious} Says:

    Put God First Then Yourself Then Your Family Then Freinds And Then…….Other Plans And Things To Do People Sholdn’t Know ;)

  327. Tamana Says:

    Never assume that someone likes u by ur sweetness…Sometimes u r just an option whn they are free.

  328. ash Says:

    A woman goes to see a doctor. She has to wait in line to see him. Finally its her turn.
    WOMAN: Doctor, I have a problem, people ignore me.
    DOCTOR: Next!

  329. Ash Ali Says:

    Jealous husband
    HUSBAND: My wife where are you?
    WIFE: At home love.
    HUSBAND: Are you sure?
    WIFE: Yes.
    HUSBAND: Turn on the blender.
    WIFE: (turns blender on) reeereeeereeee
    HUSBAND: Ok my love goodbye.

    Another day

    HUSBAND: My wife where are you?
    WIFE: At home love
    HUSBAND: Are you sure?
    WIFE: Yes
    HUSBAND: Turn on the blender
    WIFE: (turns blender on) reeereeeereeee
    HUSBAND: Ok my love goodbye

    The next day, the husband decides to go home without notice, and finds his son alone and he asked him son where is your mother?

    SON: I don’t know, she went out with the blender.:D :p

  330. Bob Says:

    **WARNING!!!** New privacy issue with Facebook!
    As of tomorrow, Facebook will creep into your bathroom when you’re in the shower, smack your butt, and then steal your clothes and towel. To change this option, go to Privacy Settings > Personal Settings > Bathroom Settings > Smacking and Stealing Settings, and uncheck the Shenanigans box. Facebook kept this one quiet. Copy and Paste on your status to alert the unaware!

  331. mcklucking Says:

    ║╚╣║║║║╩╣ __not war
    condoms are cheaper than guns :) loving it

  332. muhd azhar IV Says:


  333. Ashlynn Says:

    :|] :|] :|] :|] :|] :|] :|] :|] :|] :|]
    :|] :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ :|] :|]
    :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ :|]
    :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ :|]
    :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ :|]
    :|] :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ :|] :|]
    :|] :|] :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ :|] :|] :|]
    :|] :|] :|] :|] ♥ ♥ ♥ :|] :|] :|] :|]
    :|] :|] :|] :|] :|] ♥ :|] :|] :|] :|] :|]

  334. Jade Charles Says:

    FACEBOOK, SlutBook, meet just to FuckBook, trying to be sneaky but then get caught OutBook, ShameBook, LameBook, using a fake NameBook, corny in the streets but on here you got GameBook, JokeBook, PokeBook, everybody’s QuoteBook, in pictures you got money but in person you BrokeBook, SexBook, FlexBook, flirting with your ExBook, someone leaves a comment then you get a urgent TextBook, FightBook, LifeBook, everybody’s RightBook, someone needs to come up with a get a fucking LifeBook.

  335. boss ass bitch Says:

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Faces like yo’s belong in the zoo
    Don’t get mad, I’ll be there too
    Not in a cage but laughing at u

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