Hilarious & Clever Good Facebook Status Update Ideas

If you want to get your friends attention on facebook and get lots of comments and likes on your status updates then try using one of these hilarious, funny, witty and clever status update ideas for your facebook profile. There are some really great funny ideas for your update, including awkward statuses, clever updates, funny quotes and more funny status ideas. Your friends will be impressed and will like your status and comment on it.

You know it’s awkward when your mom sends friend requests to all your friends.

I once had a life… and then Facebook came along.

I haven’t slept since 2007. Damn Facebook.

is pretending to look professional.

is pretending to work… accept friend request.

is cleaning up the coffee in between the keystrokes.

is not really who you think I am.

is scheduled on MySpace until noon. Facebook at 12:01.

I like to keep my friends close, and my attractive friends even closer.

is feeding her virtual sheep.

Got rid of my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust.

I’m in that awkward phase of the day between never drinking again and noon.

Apparently, all those good looking people in the swimsuit catalogs go to a different beach than I do.

When asked “What would you bring with you to a deserted island”, how come no one ever replies, “A boat.”?

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

A pessimist is someone who looks at the land of milk and honey and sees only calories and cholesterol.

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.

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Witty, Wacky And Inspirational Facebook Status Update Ideas

Here are some great facebook status update ideas. There are clever quotes for statuses, wierd status updates, witty and wacky status ideas, funny facebook statuses and awkward sarcastic facebook statuses. Just copy and paste one of these good fb statuses to your facebook status update box and post it! Your friends will look at it, read it, like your status and comment on your update.

The car stopped with a jerk. Then the jerk got out.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes.

I no longer wish to share this nation’s roads and highways with others. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Assumption: the first sign of impending disaster.

Starting a sentence with “If you ask me” almost always indicates that no one asked you.

Speak when you’re angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.

I fight evil wherever it may be….except in dark, scary places.

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn’t mean he knows what it is.

The only time I ever nap is after hitting the snooze button. I took 32 naps this morning.

No, I’m not weird. I’m a limited edition.

Don’t judge a book by its movie.

I am not single, I’m romantically challenged.

Always keep several get well cards on the mantel. If unexpected guests arrive, they’ll think you’ve been sick and unable to clean.

Don’t drink water – fish have sex in it.

With all the technology available now, you’d think they’d have found a way to grow apples without those little stickers.

If you’re looking for trouble, I can offer you a wide selection.

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Random Questions Quiz For Facebook Notes Surveys

A fun survey for you to complete on a facebook note if you’re bored. Lots of good random questions to answer about your friends, your life, music, boyfriends, things you like, things you hate, your family and more! Answer the note honestly and post it on your facebook profile wall as a note.

Copy and paste the below to a new facebook note:

what is your best friend’s name?
how long have you been friends for?
do you have a boyfriend?
if so; what’s his name?
how long have you been together?
who was your last text message from?
could you live without your computer?
facebook or myspace?
do you like thunder & lightning storms?
have you ever travelled out of the country?
has someone ever made you a scrapbook?
what color is the room you are in right now?
is there a tv in the room your in?
have you ever had surgery?
if so; on what/why?
do you regret something you’ve done this year?
do you have any pets?
are you on a desktop or a laptop?
are you a morning or night type of person?
are you easy to talk to?
whats your favorite number?
do you have a pool?
do you enjoy “liking” or “becoming a fan” of things on facebook?
have you eaten dinner yet?
are you hot or cold?
what’s your emotion?
texting anyone?
listening to?
do you get along with your family?
whom are you closest to in your family?
parents together or divorced?
siblings?
how many cousins do you have?
are you close to them?

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Super Cute Status Update Ideas For Your Facebook

If you’re looking for super cute, girly status update ideas for your facebook profile – here are some reall good statuses! These are some really cute ideas for your status post and are love statuses, flirting statuses, cute quotes, relationship statuses, clever status ideas, witty statuses, interesting statuses and are all very cute! Your friends will lov them and will comment on your status!

You have the biggest heart. 

Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed.

You’re the cutest thing forever.

Sometimes wishes do come true.

Checking you out.

Thinks you crush alot.

Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.

I know what you did last night.

So… love often?

Sometimes I like you. Sometimes I don’t.

Write. Rinse. Repeat.

I’m not here to understand you.

If I can, I will. If I can’t, I always will.

 Be yourself. Who else is better qualified.

It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like “What about lunch?”

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.

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